Why do marriages fail?

Two people fall in love, get married and live happily ever after. Right? Wrong. And that misconception is exactly why some marriages fail.

Marriage is about love, I would agree with that, but 'what is love?' should be the real question. How we define love and more importantly how we act upon it may be what keeps two people together or splits them apart.

God is love. Period.

We can fall in love with how someone looks, but that someone is going to age and their looks are going to change. They may get in a serious accident in which you no longer can even recognize them. Then what?

We can fall in love with someone's personality. We may feel strongly about who they are as a person, their character, traits and how they live their life. We may get along really well and similarities may make it seem like it was "meant to be." But people change, people grow. Sometimes people change for the worse and sometimes people grow apart. Then what?

We can fall in love with the idea of love. We can build this fairy tale idea in our head that this really is our happily ever after. She's my princess and he's my prince charming. Nothing can take away this love we have. That love is a feeling. But what happens when feelings fade, when trials come and arguments happen, when temptation arises from another person brought into the middle. Then what?

Nearly everything can change, can break, can end. Everyone can get sick, go into debt, lose a job, even have a personality change. None of those things are guaranteed to last forever. So if we put our trust in those things, if we base our "love" in those things, we are setting ourselves up for failure.

God is love. God is the only One who does not change, who does not leave nor forsake us, who will always be there in the good times and the bad, the only One we can fully and always trust with our lives and with our hearts.

Love is not merely a feeling with butterflies and goosebumps and bubbly hearts all around us. Love is a choice. Love is an action. Love is a commitment, a vow, a promise, a forever.

A true marriage is a union of two souls coming together as one through God. Marriage takes three. Marriage takes commitment, dedication, humility, sacrifice, strength and so much effort. But if God is the center, that effort is going to bring such reward. That effort is going to ultimately shape us into who God wants us to be. That marriage will come closer to what God truly intends for marriage to be and a representation of Christ's love for the church, for us.

In knowing that, I know if I ever get married again, that marriage will be based off of and centered on God. I have heard before, "Have your heart so deeply in Jesus that a man needs to go to Jesus in order to find you." and I couldn't agree more. Furthermore, I always want to stay there. God first. God center. God always.

God bless.

Gifts, Goals and Gain

When you think of gifts, what do you think? Most likely receiving them.
When you think of goals, what do you think? Possibly your future.
And when you think of gain, what do you think? Perhaps your advancement, getting ahead.

What is the repeat topic here? You.

Let's look at those questions again and instead of answering them with yourself- your receiving, your advancement, your gain- let's replace them with someone else. Let's replace them with giving to others, the goal of helping another, and the gain of blessings shared. Now let's take it to a new level.

Instead of you or I in those answers, place God there.

When you think of gifts, what do you think? God. His blessings... to you and from you to another.
When you think of goals, what do you think? God. His purpose... for you and for others.
When you think of gain, what do you think? God. His kingdom... for all saved Christians to rest in for all eternity.

It is human nature to think of everything in regards to one's self. Even the kindest, most giving, humble humans still have a sinful human nature about them. We have to intentionally guide our thoughts, our words and our actions to reflect those of Christ. It's a hard walk to walk but it's worth it. We are not to store up our gifts, keep our goals and hold on to our gain all here on earth. We are to spread Christ's love, let Him shine through in what we do, help lead others to Him, and ultimately rejoice in knowing we will one day spend all of eternity with Him and other believers in His Kingdom in Heaven.

He provides gifts to all of us. Those gifts can help us better attain His purpose for us, goals. And through it all what we gain is a relationship with Him and fellowship with one another. Replace yourself with Him and watch yourself be transformed.

Here are some tools to help you find what your gifts are.

Spiritual Gifts Assessment
For example, my spiritual gifts are wisdom, discernment and exhortation (encouragement).  While I am physically weak, I can use these gifts to connect with others and encourage them in their walk with Christ especially through difficult times that I can relate to such as disability or divorce. Think outside the box. Start a blog, write a book, design shirts... heck, start your own home-based company. Do whatever God is calling you to do.

Spiritual Pathways
and then you can read to understand it better here
This will tell you how you connect with God. For me it is creation followed by contemplative/intellect and activist. This explains why I need to get out into nature every day in order to reflect and feel renewed. Also my need to be alone with God so very often. This also could explain my drive to blog to promote awareness of MG and POTS, something I feel strongly about. Don't overlook the "little ways" you can connect with God and with others. Knowing how you connect deeply with God will allow you to keep Him center in your life by making sure you make the time in that specific way.

I think in life many times we do things backwards. We find jobs then try to figure out how to apply our skills to them. We do things our way, then cry out for God's help. Put him first, replace the answer of you with the answer of Him. And allow Him to guide you and your life exactly where He wants it... to your true calling and deepening of your relationship with Him.


Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:19-21

Article to read

I just feel led to share this with everyone. A good read.

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/promise-you-cant-keep-marriage

Only Him

I haven't posted on this blog in a long while. I'm torn on what to do here. Delete it completely and just speak of Christ through my other blog? Merge the two? Transition only into this one? Start a new site all together that links the two? I don't know. And these are the least of my many problems.

Every single day we encounter problems in life, struggles, obstacles, detours, hurt, pain, suffering, etc. So why are we so very shocked when it happens? And happens again? Have you known anyone to walk a perfect life without these things? Do you expect to? So let go of those expectations and instead of building a wall let the struggles in.

Let the struggles take you, reach you, form you and build you. Let it touch the depths of your soul and transform you. With every obstacle lies opportunity. Personal growth. Growth in your relationship with Christ. Cry out to Jesus. Then listen, just listen. And rest in His peace and His guidance and mainly His love.

Get down on your knees and cry out to Him. He wants to show you that you need Him. Only He has the power to take away all things and give all things. So let Him, praise Him and love Him.

This was raw and spoken freely. I hope it touches someone today. Be blessed. With love, always.

and said:

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
    and naked I will depart.[a]
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
    may the name of the Lord be praised.”

Job 1:21

Heaven on earth

Thanks to a gift from a sweet friend I am reading the daily devotional "Jesus Calling." Yesterday one line in there stood out to me, "Do not seek your heaven on earth." Have you ever thought about this?

Every day this is exactly what we are trying to do even if we don't realize it at the time. We constantly want more, want better, and we do it in the worst way possible. We do it often times without God's lead.

Here on earth we are separated from God, and we will be until we one day join Him. But our desire for Him is SO extremely strong. And instead of reading His word, seeking His will and building a relationship with Him, we do just the opposite. We bring on destruction.

We look for this heaven within the earth. We will never find it here but we keep on looking. We look to other things. We look to other people. We look to desires, physical relationships, affairs, alcohol, gambling, revenge, money, etc. We in fact look to evil and sin in search of something so much greater. These things will never please because they don't last. They are brief moments of pleasure that give us a high for that instant. They are fleeting. And they are extremely damaging to ourselves and those around us.

Our time here on earth is brief compared to all eternity but we have a purpose. We must continue to remain close to Him, grow into who He wants us to be. We need to treat others with a loving heart. We need to not expect or search for heaven on earth... but maybe, perhaps through our actions, we should strive to create as close to it as we can for those around us.

Jesus Calling says "Do not seek your heaven on earth."
I say "Be a little piece of heaven for this earth."

Let God flow through your words, through your actions, through your life here on earth. When others see you, pray that they instead see a glimpse of Him.

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. John 15:12

Think on these things

I am a very honest person, sometimes too honest. Sometimes after I say something I think back and wonder if I really should have said that. I don't hide things. I don't lie. I am who I am and I let whoever cares to know, and even those who don't, know. You are supposed to guard your heart and yet sometimes I wear it on my sleeve. I'm not sure if those two contradict or support each other. And I don't know if doing this is a good thing or a bad thing.

But consider this...

Why is it that we hold back our feelings? Hold back our emotions? Hold back words?
Why when asked something sometimes we feel the need to fabricate the truth, tell a story or omit things?
Why do we basically portray to others a life different from the one we are living?

Why have some people done this so frequently that the truth becomes forgotten, and the entire life lived is just one big lie?

Imagine if everyone just said what is on their mind, no holding back and no lying. I'm not talking saying mean stuff to people... I'm talking if you have a feeling, an emotion, a need, something you want to say- you say it. Let it out there. Imagine if everyone did this. Wouldn't it stop all the wondering? The second guessing? The lack of closure or need for explanation? The worrying and stressing what the other person is thinking or doing? 

Now imagine if we guided our thoughts to those which were positive hence all we said was mainly positive, aside from occasional venting about things we cannot control. We would build each other up. We would both give and receive encouragement and support. We would be filled with the blessing of love. 

I'm trying to do this, the positive aspect of it. It certainly doesn't work alone but I do believe it spreads in the way that a pay it forward would. So pay it forward with kindness, with truth, with love.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8

Idols

Reality TV- American Idol...A show almost everyone used to watch, nearly no one does anymore. But there is still Dancing with the Stars, the Bachelor and many other reality shows. We HAVE to see it, can't miss it, must talk about it, enamored by it.

Sports- Oh don't get me started on football. I do like football, but it's become a religion of sorts to some. Sunday is football day. Nothing gets in the way of a game, no person, no thing, no illness, nothing. Football, basketball, baseball, soccer, golf, etc. Sports in general are loved by many.

People- boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives. Actors, actresses, musicians, pop stars, models. Even political figures. Everyone has someone they look up to in a way that can almost border on obsessive. We hang them on the wall in adolescence, scream at the top of our lungs when we see them in concert, nearly faint if we can touch the hand of someone or catch their used tshirt. We think so much of someone we may know nothing of.

Things- material things. Items. Clothing, shoes, purses, accessories, sunglasses, hats. More things- tv, stereo, car, decor, art, big houses, more more more. We always need more, but it's not a need it's a want that got mistaken as a need and it becomes an addiction.

Idols.

At first thought, none of those are idols. Maybe movie stars or something like that, but none of those other things are idols, right? They can all be idols. An idol is anything that comes in the way of putting God first. We idolize so many people and so many things and we typically don't even realize it.

Don't even stop there. We often idolize money, power and pleasure too.
Furthermore, we must remember, though there are images of Jesus and representation of Him, those images are not the real thing. We must not idolize an image but remain strong in a relationship with Him.

Idolatry is a sin.

I'm not saying take away football or stop enjoying your favorite actor. I'm not saying sell all your things and never again watch tv. But those things must not come before God. They must never replace God. And we must not look to them in such a way that places them at the same level or higher than God.

We are instructed to put God first, before anyone or anything else. And He will bless us with the desires of our heart. We can't do all these other things, nearly worshiping them or placing others on a pedestal, then cry out to God when we need help, only visit God on Sundays, when it's convenient. We must put God first, always, no matter what show is on tv, no matter what game we will miss by going to church, no matter who is doing what in Hollywood, no matter how much we love our significant other, no matter how much we desire something.

Do not love the world, love the One who created it.

“You shall have no other gods before me.

“You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments. 

Exodus 20:3-6

Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. 1 John 2:15